Fixed Purpose

Often my husband and I will set out early on a Saturday morning for a drive with no particular destination in mind but hearts open to exploring! Backroads are my favourite and his too. This is where the fun stuff is, the quaint side road farmers markets boasting freshly picked produce, glorious open fields of corn, wheat, and roughly plowed rows that go as far as the eye can see.  There are little shops nestled in tiny towns that seem magical dolled up with flower boxes and scalloped awnings, and always a good bakery boasting the best butter tart around! Where we live the landscape is rather flat but if we drive far enough north eventually gentle rolling hills appear as the asphalt begins to weave effortlessly through the countryside. On one particular ride a few weeks ago in just such an area, we crested a hill and as the road began to dip down the open expanse began to close as a huge grove of trees flanked the asphalt. With the sunroof open we glanced up to see the dappled sun p...

CLL or chronic lymphocytic leukaemia is considered the “good” cancer since it is a long-term and slowly progressing disease. After being diagnosed I was placed on what they call “watch and wait.”  I bravely asked what stage I was in and the doctor placed my disease at stage 2. That didn't seem all that bad I thought. At my first three-month check-up I rocked it, my white blood cell count remained stable and I felt pretty darn good. I remember walking to my car so full of confidence thinking, oh heck ya, I got this and life will move along just fine. Funny how quickly things can change.  For the first time since being diagnosed, I wept hard, the good old ugly cry and just let every ounce of emotional pain, anger and deep sadness fill me from my head to my toes. I'm grateful I have my husband who curled up beside me and held me tight while it all came tumbling out.  I'm only just beginning to grasp the idea of living with cancer and accepting the truth that because of this ...